Gaming mating dance

Ouch my Libido…

Cheerleaders want quarterbacks, nerds want large chested babes that come with minimal assembly and pot smokers want to Munch on whatever sits next to them (my poor dog).

Ever since gaming culture has been established (yes it is an established culture), we’ve heard over and over again about how nerds have been climbing up the social ladder, right now they are somewhere smack in the middle. Ever since Jack the Jock picked up a controller and thought that shooting and blowing things up was awesome, we can agree that gaming has become a accepted pass time that doesn’t get you beaten up at school anymore.

The courting has changed as well along with gaming being socially accepted as a cool thing to do.
Along with the online dating possibilities that have caused more happy marriages then disastrous ones, people dating each other online doesn’t raise an eyebrow like it used to.

Back then to impress a girl, all it took was chocolateflowers and permission from her homicidal father. The happier days that is. Now to impress a girl you have to have somewhat of a decent setup. I like to observe this ritual as I’ve seen it several times. Man meets girl in game room, they soon meet in chat room. After a while he sends pictures from his best angle (closeup on his eye while the background displays a 50 inch TV with a game collection that would make Jesus blush). He starts playing games that are entirely out of his character. Lets say that John Warezloves to play shooter games, he loooooves to blow up things and shoot people. All of a sudden he plays games that contain a lot of pink. Pink, cute and cuddly, to simply impress his online sweetheart.
As the mating dance continues it advances with him showing the rest of him. By now the girl likes him not for his appearance, she likes him for the simple fact that it would be fun to have a man to play “my little pony stuck in my little pink house with my little pink ribbon” with.

Now here comes the interesting part, John starts to get competition. There are other males flashing off their collection to attract the females attention. In panic he heads out and buys any console or game that she has mentioned was her absolute favorite, now she is his.

It is interesting, how the size of your gaming collection, how many consoles you have, how long you’ve been a gamer, matter so much in the social dance of proving that you are are indeed the real deal. Sometimes there isn’t one day that does by where I hear from various John’s these following sentences:

1) I was a beta tester (who hasn’t?)
2) I still have my Atari (Scared of the 3D monster?)
3) I have 569 games from various consoles (Junk collector?)
4) I have all the old consoles in mint condition ( I guess the new consoles don’t work on your old TV)
5) I am a significant person in the gaming community (oh, you mean a consumer?) <—

Hey, I like many others do appreciate the good old classics and I do like to collect old games so do not take this personally. It is just the 5 classic things for a guy to say online to impress the same or the opposite gender. After John gets her attention with those 5 sentences, here is the next step:

1) I am a game developer (yes i can make things in flash too)
2) I work for Sony/Xbox/Nintendo (classic)
3) I have my own blog/review/podcast website (oh god, you have no money!)
4) I am fata1ity in disguise (……)
5) I am a producer (now its getting out of hand)

After a long time observing people online, I came to one final truth.
No one tells the entire truth.
Gaming culture took a big step from being about games and inspiration for various new ways of entertainment, to who has the biggest gaming collection. It’s not so much gaming as it is trying to impress various individuals.

Anyone that say any of the statements posted above, I know is just trying to get some attention. I would like to make a more detailed study. Maybe write a dating online book or something. You have a lot of things to your advantage by hiding behind a computer/TV. What really impresses me is how many people that actually believe everything some people say online. I’ve noticed that with my job. We have a lot of people pretending to be staff on my work site, and the 10 year old kids believe it. Now am I saying that a lot of people have the same common sense as a 10 year old, sometimes yes.
I am not in any way condemning online dating, hey, that is how i met my husband. It has seems to have gone from how we met (which was playing games we actually both enjoyed, if I got a lame game he didn’t like, he didn’t play with me) to something entirely different. as a matter a fact, here are a few points of observation of people that are not trying to impress you.

1) they talk a bit about their outside life, not involving gaming
2) you don’t see them sending you invites to games you don’t have
3) you don’t see them getting a game just because you have it
4) They rather be quiet and enjoy the game and speak only when necessary
5) they pull a joke once in a while to expose a bit of their personality
6) they do not tell your their life story within the span of 15 minutes
7) they rather play with you only if personality’s match and gaming skill.
8) they will let you know if they think that your friends are a$%^oles
9) they wont dis your taste of games, they will however give you a little pundent and not a 30 min review on why you shouldn’t be playing that game.
10a they play games that are not always socially cool in the community, they play what they like to play, not to impress anyone.
10b) They will not get a game just because its the flavour of the month, they get if they feel that its worth playing through.
(sorry about the A and B part, I try to keep an even list)

All it is in the end, is a big act. Once the curtains starts rolling down, you take a deep bow and hope that your mom isn’t up yet so you can sneak away from your gaming basement up to your room.
Don’t step on her dog…or your she will ground you.
That would hurt your Libido

Unitedly Divided

Input and output – What does it have to do with gaming?

Once upon a time, in a basement far far away, was a group of pimply plumb children spending their Friday night preparing for a 5 people LAN. They are stocked up on Jolt cola and enough hot pockets to last them a thousand winters. Their adorable oily pubertal faces smile in glee about Jimmy getting a new graphic card that will boost his computer to smoothly run the graphics of windows 3.11. Oh, the joy and the innocence. They would game all night and well into the morning. That was unity, that was what I called a “community” of gaming enthusiasts.

One day Jenny joins in, of course the boys are in shock and confused. A girl? Wanting to play? She was welcomed with open arms. Not to mention that she is Jimmy’s sister, if he wouldn’t let her join in their play time their mom would ground him. So now their little community has grown to Jimmy, John,Jacob, Joshua, James and Jenny (bare with me, I have no imagination for names). Actually, scratch James, lets call him Zorro.

So we have Jimmy, John, Jacob, Joshua, Zorro and Jenny. All happily playing together, as it should be. The LAN’s kept going well into their early teens. One day John looks at Jimmy and realizes that he looks very attractive. Hiding his emotion while installing windows 98, he tries catching Jimmy’s attention. John eventually lets it all out, telling Jimmy how he would like to make sweet love to him. Jimmy being interested in girls, didn’t respond well to Johns feelings. His secret was now out and their little community still appreciate him the way he was, it’s about the gaming, not the sexuality after all. John decided to create a little community of his own for people with his preferences. Jimmy never understood why he wouldn’t just stick with the community as a whole, simply claiming that it was to much ignorance in the world and wanted to be sheltered from people who didn’t appreciate his sexuality. Saddened by watching their community shrink, they accepted his choice and gave John a wonderful goodbye, with enough jolt cola to keep him going for a while. Jimmy never understood what Johns sexual preference had to do with gaming, but supportive as a friend he is, he accepted Johns decision. Shortly after Jenny took notice that Zorro was more interested in her cleavage rather then her fragging skills. She didn’t think much off it, boys will be boys after all. She then realized that she could get Zorro to do whatever she wanted, which she found flattering and started to take advantage of the situation. Boobs=power.
She then realized that she could get even more by joining forces with other girls that play games. So she created her own little community for girls only. Her old friends were shunned and she started hiding with the slogan “girls are being harassed at gaming”. Jimmy looked at her with a sad look in his eyes, letting her know what he is harassed just as much as any person. He tried to tell her that some people are jerks, everyone rips on everyone, calling each other gay, noob, skank etc. She didn’t listen however and wanted to feel protected in her own little community where only girls are welcome.
That is what she did, Jimmy looked at his community getting smaller and dividing itself into sections.

1)sexual preference
2)Gender
3)skin color
4)length
5)weight
6)gaming preferences
7)religion

Shortly after Jenny’s departure, Zorro decided he wanted to join a community that only contained Latinos and Hispanics. Again the community kept getting divided.
Then Jimmy lost Joshua to a trash talkers community. Jacob wasn’t allowed to hang with Jimmy anymore because of religious reasons and joined a community with people of “his own kind”. Jimmy never had anything against people who worship Spanish talking crickets, they are very entertaining after all with their little violins.

The childhood innocence was gone. The days where everyone of any sexual preferences, skin color, gender and religion could enjoy the passion that unites them, now has torn them apart.
Jimmy was now upset and alone, In an act of online desperation, he created a straight only community. Shortly after he did that, he received calls from John that he was segregating his kind. He received the same call from Jenny, Jacob and Joshua. He never got a call from Zorro because he forgot how communicate in English and back then there was no “español option” on the phone.

My point with this story is very simple. What used to unite us, our passion for gaming, is now dividing us. There are groups for everything. Hiding behind one simple reason, harassment.

Where is the harassment I ask?

We all get harassed online, some human beings are just plain jerks. That is still not an excuse to segregate yourself from people who share your passion.
No disrespect to anyone with various sexual preferences, race, religion or gender. But honestly, when you play games online, do you go around humping a player of the same gender? If a straight person tried to hit on me and pretend hump me in anyway and disrespect me as a female, I would be upset. I think it goes for all sexual preferences. You log into a game, to play the game. To meet new people who enjoy the world of gaming. Not to discuss sexual preferences, or shun anyone because of gender, religion or other various reasons. Some claim that they are the ones being shunned. I would believe that to be a good argument, if it wasn’t for the fact that I know from personal experience how this entire thing works. I’ve lost friends to communities where I wasn’t welcomed back in the days. All because one person uttered a very insensitive statement. I can almost compare to the world of comedy, when a comedian makes fun of a religion or a belief. As long as it is someone else then yours then it’s OK to joke and tease about. However as soon as it involves you, it is no longer acceptable.

How will we ever learn to accept each other and what we are all about when people are hiding in their little safe corners of the Internet?
I am a swede and I am yet to join an all Swede community. Why would I? Sure I don’t get to talk a lot with my people, but I do not need to.
If i do find the urge to hang with a bunch of Swedes, I can always look for a Swedish forum or call a Swedish friend. I would join a Swedish community but it wouldn’t be a gaming community.
I have friends of every gender, color, nationality, religion and sexuality (except bestiality people) and that is how it is supposed to be. We are united by our love for games. It is what brings us together. Everything else comes second. We learn, we grow by being exposed to these things. How will you battle adversity when you are hiding behind a big wall?

As long as the community keep dividing itself, it will always be the “us against them” attitude.
I am sure that a lot of people have found refuge in community site tailored towards their gender and their sexuality. But when you are stuck in an “us against them” mentality, you wont experience the real gaming world as it is. You take the good thing with the bad. That is how you spread awareness.
When there was great injustice, and captain America or wonder woman weren’t created yet, you only had one way to deal with problems. Face the beast, face your fear, face the one who you claim are shunning you. Why would just a few bad apples here and there scare you into shunning everyone that aren’t like you?

Lets say that I was being flirted with online. Would I look for a community with only married gamers? No, I would just not play with that certain human being anymore. We are instead spreading the word that you need to be protected from the community. That people will never accept you the way you are and only the ones in your community understand you, which is not the case.
I say stop hiding. There will always be humans that have poor online manners. There will be always be people who dislike you. but If they never get to meet you, how will you convince them to change their ways.

(BTW Homosexuals, running around trying to get an online date with people that are straight will never work. I am sorry to break the news, humping them with a sock will only make them angry)
(Ladies, it’s ok to be girly girl, but when you flirt and comment on how hot you look to boost your self esteem will only make the rest of us look pretty bad and we will never be taken seriously. Don’t expect them to take yourself seriously either for that matter)
(bestiality people, stop being so nasty!!! If you want to marry a chicken, buy a feather boa)

Once we are all divided into group, there will be no drama anymore, there will be nothing interesting to explore. Nothing new to be learned, because we will only be with people who think and are exactly like ourselves.

Hell is being stuck forever with your best friend.

I am going to create a community where only Anjo’ are welcome, because I feel that being an Anjo I never get understood or respected. No one understands when I do my regular Anjo stuff and Anjo them with my foot and then wonder why they don’t like being Anjoed.

It is revolution my friends, When the french couldn’t take the heat anymore from their so call aristocracy, what did they do? They faced the the mob and brought the evil doers to justice.
p.s I am not in anyway asking you to decapitate people who aren’t like you. I am just saying that it would be fun seeing a guillotine in action.

Either way. I have to say that I miss the days of old school gaming, where the community was whole and not divided. There will always be jerks, running from them will solve absolutely nothing. Putting TNT in their sandwich will.

Sex, religion, ethnicity, gender and bestiality has nothing to do with gaming, as long as we keep these things away then the community will be what it is, a GAMING COMMUNITY!

BTW….I think I’ll give Zorro a call.

When will XBOX go portable?

The portable world is starting to dominate our world.
Sony has ’em, Nintendo has ’em, you can even have portable babies (you know, a sack that you put your baby in and carry them around while they profusely scream of either hunger or in dire need of a diaper change ).

Note: I wouldn’t know because I am not a parent, hence babies are a part of portable entertainment.

Xbox has zune but to my knowledge it can only offer movies, videos and music. Its all fine and dandy but a portable device need to offer you more then that.
If I wanna watch videos or listen to music, I’ll buy a system for that. The iPhone has all those options (and even play games, i spent several minutes with my husband playing “Who wants to be a millionaire” the other day)

I recently got final fantasy Crisis core. As most RPG people know, final fantasy 7 is the best game ever made in that era. Basically it is the perfect game, good story telling and amazing design. My fear when I bought Crisis core (yes i buy my own games because godfree is a penny pincher) that their graphics wouldn’t really be up to par.
I was proven wrong very quickly. The story takes place a few years before the original final fantasy 7 story is born. It is different with it action battle setup but rest assure, it still follows the styling of it’s earlier (future) cousins.

Either way, this is not a review of the game. As i spend my days playing either my Nintendo DS and PSP while my Xbox sits there and collects dust. So I started thinking. First i got a weird sensation of pain, since thinking is usually something I like to avoid. I quickly realized that xbox hasn’t come out with its own little portable system. Xbox biggest selling point is its titles, who wouldn’t like the halo series for a portable system? Personally I wouldn’t but it being its most successful title, you’d expect that they would make Masterchief pocket size grab and play.

I only have theories why they haven’t launched their own portable system.

1) Scared of failure of the system because it would give you the red battery light of death.

2) They haven’t thought of it.

3) The competition is to much.

4) To busy fixing the problems with their xbox.

5) Sony went into their office and shot the system designers knee caps.

6) (fase1=Collect underpants) (fase2=?) (fase3=PROFIT!)

Here is an idea, xbox dominate in titles (for consoles) in First person shooters, so why don’t they just build a little gun with a little screen on top displaying the game? (cannot be used in a bank or a bus)

You load a game by putting it into the handle and with voice activation you will be able to launch the game. “are you feeling lucky punk?
Sure it’s a silly idea but at least it would be original, we have the technology to be able to make an idea such as this possible.

When it comes to the online community option, that is also possible.
Nintendo DS has it, so theoretically it would be just a matter of implementing it to a portable version of xbox.

If xbox wont build one, then I will.
I am not an engineer, but I could just take a sledgehammer and smash my xbox down to a portable version. If its still alive when made into a compact system, I would sell it without a warranty, simply since it would probably explode in your hands and the only way you would be able to pick your nose is by using your toes. (Alot of people without hands have learned to play games with their feet, I’ll make sure to add in adorable hardcore gamer socks in my xbox portable package.)

I am going on a cross country trip here soon and there is no way for me to play xbox during that time. It’s not like I can hook up my TV and xbox to the car battery. Not only would it drain it, most likely my xbox would explode and with my luck, it would give me the rings ofF$#%ck you! Also, where would i fit my TV? I need my husband to drive so it’s not like I can tell him to sit on the roof and drive by making hand signals to maneuver our beast of a car.

Think about it xbox, there is a whole demographic of gamers you are missing out on.

who doesn’t like profit?

Till xbox gives our a portable system, I will keep on playing my two other portable systems, while my xbox is packed down in the back all sad because I cannot take it out to play with the other portable baby systems.