When will xbox go portable?

The portable world is starting to dominate our world.
Sony has ’em, Nintendo has ’em, you can even have portable babies (you know, a sack that you put your baby in and carry them around while they profusely scream of either hunger or in dire need of a diaper change ).

Note: I wouldn’t know because I am not a parent, hence babies are a part of portable entertainment.

Xbox has zune but to my knowledge it can only offer movies, videos and music. Its all fine and dandy but a portable device need to offer you more then that.
If I wanna watch videos or listen to music, I’ll buy a system for that. The iPhone has all those options (and even play games, i spent several minutes with my husband playing “Who wants to be a millionaire” the other day)

I recently got final fantasy Crisis core. As most RPG people know, final fantasy 7 is the best game ever made in that era. Basically it is the perfect game, good story telling and amazing design. My fear when I bought Crisis core (yes i buy my own games because godfree is a penny pincher) that their graphics wouldn’t really be up to par.
I was proven wrong very quickly. The story takes place a few years before the original final fantasy 7 story is born. It is different with it action battle setup but rest assure, it still follows the styling of it’s earlier (future) cousins.

Either way, this is not a review of the game. As i spend my days playing either my Nintendo DS and PSP while my Xbox sits there and collects dust. So I started thinking. First i got a weird sensation of pain, since thinking is usually something I like to avoid. I quickly realized that xbox hasn’t come out with its own little portable system. Xbox biggest selling point is its titles, who wouldn’t like the halo series for a portable system? Personally I wouldn’t but it being its most successful title, you’d expect that they would make Masterchief pocket size grab and play.

I only have theories why they haven’t launched their own portable system.

1) Scared of failure of the system because it would give you the red battery light of death.

2) They haven’t thought of it.

3) The competition is to much.

4) To busy fixing the problems with their xbox.

5) Sony went into their office and shot the system designers knee caps.

6) (fase1=Collect underpants) (fase2=?) (fase3=PROFIT!)

Here is an idea, xbox dominate in titles (for consoles) in First person shooters, so why don’t they just build a little gun with a little screen on top displaying the game? (cannot be used in a bank or a bus)

You load a game by putting it into the handle and with voice activation you will be able to launch the game. “are you feeling lucky punk?”
Sure it’s a silly idea but at least it would be original, we have the technology to be able to make an idea such as this possible.

When it comes to the online community option, that is also possible.
Nintendo DS has it, so theoretically it would be just a matter of implementing it to a portable version of xbox.

If xbox wont build one, then I will.
I am not an engineer, but I could just take a sledgehammer and smash my xbox down to a portable version. If its still alive when made into a compact system, I would sell it without a warranty, simply since it would probably explode in your hands and the only way you would be able to pick your nose is by using your toes. (Alot of people without hands have learned to play games with their feet, I’ll make sure to add in adorable hardcore gamer socks in my xbox portable package.)

I am going on a cross country trip here soon and there is no way for me to play xbox during that time. It’s not like I can hook up my TV and xbox to the car battery. Not only would it drain it, most likely my xbox would explode and with my luck, it would give me the rings of F$#%ck you! Also, where would i fit my TV? I need my husband to drive so it’s not like I can tell him to sit on the roof and drive by making hand signals to maneuver our beast of a car.

Think about it xbox, there is a whole demographic of gamers you are missing out on.

who doesn’t like profit?

Till xbox gives our a portable system, I will keep on playing my two other portable systems, while my xbox is packed down in the back all sad because I cannot take it out to play with the other portable baby systems.